“Sean Penn Cambodia Here We Come”

Okay, I swear I'm going to stop apologizing for being so behind in TAR Recaps. I'll just buckle down now and get these written! My apologies. (Damn, there I go again...)

After a rest period of 12 hours, nine teams leave Ho Chi Minh City/Saigon, Vietnam on the third leg of the Amazing Race.

The first three teams to depart are Flight Time & Big Easy, Meghan & Cheyne, Gary & Matt...

ROUTE INFO
Fly to Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Once there, find FCC (Foreign Correspondence Club) and make contact with assignment editor. When asking for your assignment, you must talk in a whisper!

Ericka and Brian declare early in the episode that this season of the Amazing Race must be jungle themed because of the bugs and the ducks and the...wait a minute...did they just say DUCKS?! They do know that ducks aren't jungle animals, right?! Where does CBS find these people??

After reading up in their National Geographic to study up on where ducks actually call home, the teams arrive at the airport only to discover that their flight won't leave for like 12 hours! This is what Mr. Bee and I have deemed a BOTTLE NECK. A Bottle Neck is when all the teams, despite freaking the fuck out that they are going to be eliminated, all get bottle necked at 5am at some random location. This allows for all the teams to regroup and any teams in the front will lose their multiple hour lead.

Surprisingly, it seems that all the teams forget about BOTTLE NECKS until they happen. And then promptly forget about it again until it happen again. Which it will.

Eventually, the teams begin boarding their flights with the second flight leaving at 2:15, almost two hours after the first flight. Unfortunately Zev’s team is stuck on the second flight with the A-holes (otherwise known as Lance & Keri).

Upon arrival at the FCC, the teams receive a newspaper that contains their next clue...

ROUTE INFO
Using only the photo they were given as a reference, the teams must find the Hotel Le Royal. Once there, they must find the photo of Jackie O to find their next clue.

This is the most ridiculous task ever. I was in complete disbelief that only like three of the teams were able to recognize Jackie Kennedy Onassis. The other teams that Jackie O was either a Cambodian princess or the Queen of England. What the fuck.

DETOUR
Cover or Wrap

Cover: Teams must locate motorcycle store and grab four helmets. They must then convince locals to purchase the helmets for $10 (for all four: two adults, two children). The shopkeeper will give them their next clue. (The A-holes are the only team to attempt this task. Which makes sense, because they are so personable...)

Wrap: Find Russian market stalls and get scarf. Search market for woman in market wearing an identical scarf. The shopkeeper will give them their next clue. (Zev & Justin, Dan & Sam, FT & BE, Mika & Canaan, Meghan & Cheyne, Maria & Tiffany, Gary & Matt, Ericka & Brian & Ericka all complete this task.)

Ericka and Brian, you know the "jungle" team, find their woman wearing a scarf IMMEDIATELY after arriving to the market. They sure are two lucky jungle ducks.

ROUTE INFO
Travel on foot to Wat Toul Tom Pong to find the next clue...

ROAD BLOCK
Who’s ready to go bananas?

One person must learn to be a monkey and perform a monkey act/maneuvers.

I'm pretty sure this is the creepiest tasks ever featured on TAR. Did you see those masks?? ::shudder::

Zev finds being a monkey to be harder than advertised and pretty much passes out with anxiety. I won’t lie, I totally understand that. Did you see those masks?!?!

But in the meantime, Dan & Sam perfect their simian tasks and head toward the pit stop.

ROUTE INFO
Wat Phnom is a 600 years old Buddhism shrine and the next pit stop.

But watch out! Out of nowhere, Zev & Justin taxi beat out the mini car thingy that Dan & Sam are riding in and take First Place at the Pit Stop!
2nd: Sam & Dan
3rd: Flight Tim & Big Easy
4th: Ericka & Brian
5th: Matt & Gary
6th: Meghan & Cheyne
7th: Lance & Keri (after scaring Phil to death)
8th: Mika & Canaan
9th: Maria & Tiffany

But that's not all!

At the pit stop, the worst of the worst happens: Zev loses his passport!! If Zev can’t find his travel docs, they will be Philiminated out of the Race! Noooooooooooooooooooooo!! Why can’t that shit happen to the A-hole couple?!?! The team departs to try to find Zev’s passport with the help of their super awesome taxi driver, but unfortunately, they were unable to find the passport and didn’t make it back before the last team with all of their documents. Heart as cold as steel Phil, unceremoniously Auf’d them.

Why, Phil? WHY?!?!