"I'm Like Ricky Bobby."

At the beginning of the next leg of the race, only eight teams remain after Zev and Justin cruelly got the boot.

What can I say? I'm still grieving.

Teams leave the capital of Cambodia, which was the the fourth pit stop in a race around the world!!

ROUTE INFO
Fly to Persian gulf and find the world’s tallest building (twice the height of the empire state building) Burj Dubai

Sign up for one of two groups to ride the elevator to the top of the still-under-construction building.

Um, no thank you much? Did the producers fail to notice that (1) the building is hella tall, and (2) it is still under construction?!?! Yeah, needless to say, I wouldn't be caught dead on this task...

After getting the clue, we find that the Gay Bros don’t know where the Persian Gulf is. They actually attempt to purchase airline tickets to “The Persian Gulf” and the airline representative is all “what the fuck are you talking about?” It was kind of awesome.

Ericka & Brian totally already know where they are going – Dubai. I have to say that I really like this season’s more cryptic clues. I feel like it gives teams that aren't totally dumb a leg up (except in this case, the "jungle duck" team got the leg up.)

Everyone BOTTLE NECKS (shocker) yet again on their flight to Dubai through Bangkok.

Maria & Tiffany sign in first in Dubia with Brian & Ericka second and Sam & Dan third. The other teams sign in:

4th: Meghan & Cheyne
Mika & Canaan are the first in the second group.
2nd: Lance & Keri
3rd: Flight Tim & Big Easy
4th: Gary & Matt

As they climbed aboard the elevator, let me just say that I think I peed myself a little. That is one tall building. Vomit.

ROUTE INFO
Teams will make their way off the building (VIA ELEVATOR – Thank god) to a parking garage next door and find some cherry Audis. They must drive themselves in to the Dubai Desert Conservation Reserve. There they will ride in some 4x4 shuttle vehicles in to the desert to find their next clue.

The teams also find their first opportunity to do the Fast Forward!

FAST FORWARD
Teams must find the Dubai Autodrome. One team member must complete a lap in a tiny ass car in 45 seconds or less (speeds up to 100 mph).

All the teams find the cars and off they go, but douche bags decide to go a different direction in to the parking garage and not only get lost, but totally can’t find the marked vehicles. SAH-WEET! Seriously, I hate those tools.

Meghan and Cheyne decide to tackle the FAST FORWARD. Cheyne was successful on his first lap (Rick Bobby-esque even) and they headed to the pit stop. In a Maserati. Bananas, people. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Once the teams arrive literally in the middle of nowhere, they find their next clue...
ROADBLOCK
Who thinks that they can beat the desert heat?
FIND WATER
One person will take a traditional bag and search the desert for urns that have been filled with water and buried in the sand. However, not all the urns contain water. When they fill their bags, they must return with the water to receive their next clue.

Since “chocolate melts in the sun” Ericka is too fragile for such a task, Brian mans up and starts hunting for water. Most of the teams find water fairly easy but it was definitely a hot and frustrating task. In order to what I can only assume is secure his position as the Season's Biggest Douchebag, Lance take this episode to create a path of destruction wherever he treads. First, he breaks an urn in frustration, spills the rest of the water out of an urn when he's done filling his own bag, and then basically throws his shit at the clue guy and tells him to “have a nice life”.

AAAAAAASSHOLE.

The teams then head out towards there next location...

ROUTE INFO
Ski Dubai
A huuuuuge INDOOR ski resort

When leaving the desert, Maria & Tiffany’s car is blocked in. So what do they do? They drive over a big metal post which spears the radiator and breaks their car. REEEEtards. So now they have to wait for a replacement car and stupidly, Dan & Sam, who are aligned with them, decide to wait as well.

DETOUR
Can we take a moment to discuss Phil? While describing the tasks available, he skied down the bunny slope! Talk about multi-tasking! I simultaneously love and can't help laughing my ass off at Phil.

BUILD A SNOWMAN Teams must carry snow outside to build a snowman before the 8 billion degree Dubai temperatures melt their Frosty.

FIND A SNOWMAN Take a chair lift up the mountain, sled down to piles of snow. They must search the mounds for a tiny snowman which they must give to a polar bear, of course.

While Gary & Matt search for the snowman, they banter about what the mini snowman might look like, “Hopefully it’s not white.” You know, like those elusive rainbow-colored snowmen.

The Find a Snowman task turns out to be much harder than it looks and most teams opt to build a snowman out in the approximately 900 degree weather outside. And, of course, Lance keeps up the douchebaggery by wanting to destroy his snowman Van Dam-style. *sigh*

ROUTE INFO
PITSTOP
Drive themselves through the city to Souk Madinat Jumeirah.

Meghan & Cheyne are first (due to the Fast Forward) and win a Travelocity trip to Jamaica.
2nd: Ericka & Brian
3rd: Flight Time & Big Easy
4th: Gary & Matt
5th: Sam & Dan
6th: Maria & Tiffany
7th: Mika & Canaan
8th: Lance & Keri

THANK GOD it wasn’t a non-elimination round. My television world will be a much happier place without the a-holes around. And I probably would've thrown something through my tv if the producers kept Lance and Keri around one more week. Thank GOD they are gone!